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I'll say it does! Fay, you burglar, I'll bet you've got twenty people like myself you milk for free ideas.
First you irritate their bark, and then you make the rounds every so often to draw off the latex or the
maple gloop."
Fay smiled. It ought to please you that society still has a use for you outré inner-directed types. It takes
something to make a junior executive stay aboveground after dark, when the missiles are on the prowl."
Society can't have much use for us or it'd pay us something. Gusterson sourly asserted, staring blankly
at the tankless TV and kicking it lightly as he passed on. TVs with viewing tanks showed shows in three
dimensions.
No, you're wrong about that, Gussy. Money's not the key goad with you inner-directeds. I got that
straight from our Motivations chief."
Did he tell you what we should use instead to pay the grocer? A deep inner sense of achievement,
maybe? Fay, why should I do any free thinking for Micro Systems?"
I'll tell you why, Gussy. Simply because you get a kick out of insulting us with sardonic ideas. If we
take one of them seriously, you think we're degrading ourselves, and that pleases you even more. Like
making someone laugh at a lousy pun."
Gusterson held still in his roaming and grinned. That's the reason, huh? I suppose my suggestions
would have to be something in the line of ultra-subminiaturized computers, where one sinister fine-
etched molecule does the work of three big bumbling brain cells?"
Not necessarily. Micro Systems is branching out. Wheel as free as a rogue star. But I'll pass along to
Promotion your one molecule-three brain cell sparkler. It's a slight exaggeration, but it's catchy."
I'll have my kids watch your ads to see if you use it, and then I'll sue the whole underworld. Gusterson
frowned as he resumed his stalking. He stared puzzledly at the antique TV. How about inventing a
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plutonium termite? he said suddenly. It would get rid of those stockpiles that are worrying you moles
to death."
Fay grimaced noncommitally and cocked his head.
Well, then, how about a beauty mask? How about that, hey? I don't mean one to repair a woman's
complexion, but one she'd wear all the time that'd make her look like a seventeen-year-old sexpot. That'd
endher worries."
Hey, that's for me, Daisy called from the kitchen. I'll make Gusterson suffer. I'll make him crawl
around on his hands and knees begging my immature favors."
No, you won't, Gusterson called back. You having a face like that would scare the kids. Better cancel
that one, Fay. Half the adult race looking like Vina Vidarsson is too awful a thought."
Yah, you're just scared of making a million dollars, Daisy jeered.
I sure am, Gusterson said solemnly, scanning the fuzzy floor from one murky glass wall to the other,
hesitating at the TV. How about something homey now, like a flock of little prickly cylinders that roll
around the floor collecting lint and flub? They'd work by electricity, or at a pinch cats could bat em
around. Every so often they'd be automatically herded together and the lint cleaned off the bristles."
No good, Fay said. There's no lint underground and cats areverboten . And the aboveground market
doesn't amount to more moneywise than the state of Southern Illinois. Keep it grander, Gussy, and more
impractical you can't sell people merely useful ideas. From his hassock in the center of the room he
looked uneasily around. Say, did that violet tone in the glass come from the high Cleveland hydrogen
bomb, or is it just age and ultraviolet, like desert glass?"
No, somebody's grandfather liked it that color, Gusterson informed him with happy bitterness. I like
it too the glass, I mean, not the lint. People who live in glass houses can see the stars especially when
there's a window-washing streak in their germ-plasm."
Gussy, why don't you move underground? Fay asked, his voice taking on a missionary note. It's a lot
easier living in one room, believe me. You don't have to tramp from room to room hunting things."
I like the exercise, Gusterson said stoutly.
But I bet Daisy'd prefer it underground. And your kids wouldn't have to explain why their father lives
like a Red Indian. Not to mention the safety factor and insurance savings and a crypt church within easy
slidewalk distance. Incidentally, we see the stars all the time, better than you do by repeater."
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Stars by repeater, Gusterson murmured to the ceiling, pausing for God to comment. Then, No, Fay,
even if I could afford it and stand it I'm such a bad-luck Harry that just when I got us all safely
stowed at the N minus one sublevel, the Soviets would discover an earthquake bomb that struck from
below, and I'd have to follow everybody back to the treetops.Hey! How about bubble homes in orbit
around earth? Micro System could subdivide the world's most spacious suburb, and all you moles could
go ellipsing. Space is as safe as there is: no air, no shock waves. Free Fall's the ultimate in restfulness
great health benefits. Commute by rocket or better yet, stay home and do all your business by TV-
telephone, or by waldo if it were that sort of thing. Even pet your girl by remote control she in her
bubble, you in yours, whizzing through vacuum. Oh, damn damn damn damn DAMN!"
He was glaring at the blank screen of the TV, his big hands clenching and unclenching.
Don't let Fay give you apoplexy he's not worth it, Daisy said, sticking her trim head in from the
kitchen, while Fay inquired anxiously, Gussy, what's the matter?"
Nothing, you worm! Gusterson roared. Except that an hour ago I forgot to tune in on the only TV
program I've wanted to hear this year Finnegans Wakescored for English, Gaelic and brogue. Oh, damn
damn DAMN!"
Too bad, Fay said lightly. I didn't know they were releasing it on flat TV too."
Well, they were! Some things are too damn big to keep completely underground. And I had to forget!
I'm always doing it I miss everything! Look here, you rat, he blatted suddenly at Fay, shaking his
finger under the latter's chin, I'll tell you what you can have that ignorant team of yours invent. They
can fix me up a mechanical secretary that I can feed orders into and that'll remind me when the exact
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