[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
She wasn t just placating him. It was the truth. There is nothing
for you to worry about.
He shook his head. That s where you re wrong, Logan. God,
I know I haven t made myself very clear. But I do know this. The
chemistry between you two is like an atom bomb. I just don t
want it going off.
I don t have any intention of making any bombs go off.
Believe me.
Mark looked relieved but not completely convinced.
Good.
Jillian read through Steph s e-mail again, more hurt than
angry. Last night, she had sent her lover a long, emotionally
draining e-mail describing the young soldier s death and how
valiantly the medical team had worked trying to save him. She
described the ramp ceremony and how honored she felt to be a
part of it all, how empty she felt afterward. And yet Steph barely
mentioned any of it in her reply, other than to ask if the dead
soldier was American or Canadian. Like that mattered, Jillian
thought angrily. Steph wasn t even trying to understand what she
was going through. Didn t care. Instead she went on about her
classes and the crappy mid-term marks and how that was going
to reflect on her as a professor. She talked a bit about Maddie, of
course. She also made a list of all the bills she d paid and things
she d had to tend to. Her little way, perhaps, of making Jillian feel
guilty for being away.
Jillian angrily slammed her laptop shut. Did Steph really
not care what was happening to her here? She d been away on
assignments before, but never this long, nor had she ever been in
harm s way like this. Already she was feeling vested in this place,
in what the soldiers and medical staff were doing day in and day
out. Of course Steph wouldn t understand, but it d be nice if she
at least tried, Jillian thought. She could at least show her a bit of
empathy, have a little conversation about it. Was that so hard?
82
Oh, hell. What was the use at getting angry at Steph? It wasn t
like it would help anything. At least Steph was doing her part
keeping the home fires burning. Really, wasn t that enough? Was
she expecting too much of her? Shouldn t she just be happy to
have the freedom to push her career into new territory like this?
Shouldn t she be grateful to have a chance to show the world
what the brave, hardworking doctors and nurses were doing over
here?
Jillian was grateful and honored to bear witness to what was
happening at KAF, and she wasn t going to feel guilty about it.
If she couldn t get some understanding from home, there were
plenty of people right here who knew exactly what she was
feeling. She understood now why Logan kept her thoughts and
feelings to herself so much. Perhaps she, too, had tried and failed
to get support from those she loved.
Hockey was the furthest thing from Logan s mind as she
dressed for the game. She kept replaying the conversation with
Mark in her head, still disbelieving his words. If Jillian was
unhappy in her marriage, even though she d given no indication
of it, it was Jillian s problem. It had absolutely nothing to do with
Logan, no matter what sort of strange threat Mark thought she
posed.
Jesus, what does he think Jillian and I are doing in that little room
every night? Does he think we re getting it on? Or at least that we re
secretly wishing we were getting it on?
It was disappointing he didn t give her more credit than that.
That he didn t give them more credit than that. Jillian had never
so much as hinted that she was anything but monogamous, and
Logan wouldn t dream of seducing someone in Jillian s situation
and playing the role of home wrecker. She had far more respect
for herself and Jillian than to engage in such destructive, juvenile
games.
She jogged out to the rink and greeted her closest teammates
with a high-five, distracted and grouchy and uncharacteristically
just wanting to get the game over. She gave Mark a cursory nod
83
and lined up at center to take the face-off.
Logan ran hard, determined to let the action cleanse her
mind and ease her mood. She quickly scored a breakaway goal,
then set up Mark for a two-on-one that just missed scoring. After
a few minutes, she jogged to the bench for a substitute, her mind
remarkably liberated. When she played sports, especially ones as
fast as hockey, there was little time to think about anything but
the task at hand. That was a damn relief today. Her lungs and legs
burned, the pain and her breathlessness keeping her focused on
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]