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burning fire before them.
"I know. Cinhil." Joram hesitated a beat and then continued. "Tell me, have you thought
much about tomorrow?"
Camber controlled the urge to smile.
"If you understand me at all, after all these years, you must know that tomorrow has not
been far from my thoughts these many days," he replied gently. "I share your distress, son.
I simply see no way around what I must do."
"Perhaps not." Joram's eyes were hooded beneath blond lashes. "The end result is
unavoidable, I suppose. But, have you considered that there might be an alternative means
to that end? You don't have to base everything on deception, you know."
"No?"
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"No. You could make your status legitimate."
"How?" Camber whispered.
"Be ordained a priest," Joram replied, turning desperate, heartsick eyes on his father.
"Do it now, tonight, and you enter the cathedral tomorrow with a clear conscience. You
can! God knows, we've talked about it often enough in the past. You were made a deacon
as a young man. You've been a widower for years. You certainly have the vocation for it.
Under the circumstances, I'm sure Anscom would do it."
"Anscom?"
Camber took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling his heart pound as the impact of
Joram's words sank into all his being.
Actually to be a priest, not just a sham. The thought excited him and, at the same time,
chilled him. Certainly, it had always been in the back of his mind finally to take priestly
vows. His early monastic training had taken far better than he or anyone else had thought.
But that had been before, when he had still walked the world in his own skin, and a man
named Alister Cullen had still been alive in fact as well as in name. Could Camber
MacRorie, having taken that other man's identity even though he had not taken that
life presume to approach the altar of God and ask the precious gift of priesthood? Dared
he base so holy a calling on a further deception?
On the other hand, could he allow Archbishop Anscom, Primate of All Gwynedd and a
friend for many years, to confer the bishop's miter upon him when he was not properly
prepared? Of course, if he told Anscom and Anscom agreed to ordain him, then Anscom
would be actively guilty of duplicity in concealing Camber's true identity unless, of
course, he refused to have anything to do with the situation at all, and renounced Camber
publicly instead of going through with the consecration. That, too, was a possibility.
But, if Camber did not take the matter to Anscom, and tried to continue as he had been,
what then? After tomorrow, he would no longer be able to avoid the exercise of the priestly
functions of Alister Cullen without arousing dangerous suspicions. Yet it was either that or
perform those offices for which he was not ordained, and be in peril of his soul.
chapter fifteen
I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.
Psalms 116:14
He returned to the room with a start, aware that Joram was watching him, unable to say
how long he had been off on his own reverie. His fingers were clenched tightly around the
earthenware cup in his hand, on the verge of shattering it, and illogically he wondered how
he would look at his consecration tomorrow with a bandaged hand, if the thing did break.
With a conscious effort, he willed his hand to relax enough to set the cup on the floor
beside him. He took a deep breath before looking up at Joram again.
"You certainly caught me off guard with that one," he said in an uncertain voice. "I
suppose I had refused to consciously consider that alternative. You and I understand why I
have to do what I'm doing, but I guess I didn't want to face the possibility that Anscom
might not. If he didn't, I can't say I would blame him."
"Do you really think he wouldn't understand?" Joram said softly. "I know him better
than that, and I've known him for less than half the years you have."
Camber lowered his gaze, watching his finger systematically trace along the carving on
his chair arm.
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